Your Marriage and Your Mission
Shauna and I have been married 23 years. We both feel like our marriage is deeper and stronger than it has ever been. While I think there are many things that have led to this, I’ve been reflecting on what our marriage has to do with our mission in life and vice versa. I realize some of you who are reading this might not be married. If you’re single and want to be married one day or even if you have no interest in getting married, I think you’ll find ways to apply these same principles in your own life.
Your marriage needs a common mission.
I believe our closest relationships need something in common we can rally around together. I love getting away by ourselves, but the reason I love these times is because of the mission we’re pursuing in our “normal” lives. Here are some of our common missions: raising our children together, investing in the staff and leaders of Epic Church, and influencing the city of San Francisco in a way that causes citizens here to flourish. Even if you and your spouse are so different from each other, what is a common mission you can pursue together? You’ll be amazed at what this will do to deepen your relationship.
Give space for each other to have a unique mission.
While Shauna and I have some common missions, we also have missions that are distinct from each other. Shauna has a unique calling to help those without faith understand who Jesus is and how He wants to come into their lives. She also has a passion for neighboring with great intention and teaching others to do the same. While I seek to do both of these to some degree, neither of these represent my unique ability and calling. I believe I have been created to help people clarify their vision and create a path between where they are today and where they long to be one day. How can you encourage your spouse in the unique mission they have?
Don’t let any mission supersede your marriage.
While so far I have made the case that your marriage really needs a mission, I now want to persuade you to never let your mission take priority over your marriage. If you’re anything like me, you love pursuing the things you feel like you were made to do while you’re here on this earth. That’s awesome! However, it can be easy to pour all of our energy into our work and have nothing left to invest in our marriages.
How can you make sure your mission doesn’t supersede your marriage?
Create boundaries around when you’ll work on your mission.
Have a weekly date night (in or out) where neither of you are allowed to talk about work.
Ask your spouse, “Is there anything I’m doing or not doing that makes you wonder if my work is more important than you?”
Spend a few minutes today expressing gratitude to God and your spouse for the marriage you have. Then have a conversation with each other about how you can apply what you’ve read here today.
